Journey

"Thoughts are not reality" is my new mantra...I learnt that today. I am proud of learning that today. Thoughts are like scenarios that occur in your head and instead of acknowledging them and letting them have their place we (or I) have a tendency to feed them til they grow and grow and the emotions that they produce (often negative) take over the rest of your day, your week, month or even your life..this then impacts on your body and what happens then is we (I) have full catastrophic living.

We (I) (You will notice I keep doing this - I must learn to take ownership of my feelings and my actions) need to give ourselves permission to accept our thoughts, to welcome them in and acknowledge they exist and that they are there, feel the emotion they produce and then let them go merrily on their way..do not feed the thoughts for you will only intensify the emotion and you will only cause yourself more pain and anxiety. This is not about burying those thoughts and emotions - for then you will store them up and one day they will burst out of you and God only knows where you will end up"! It's about giving them a time, a place and an acknwledgement and then lettting them go - only then can you start to deal with reality - the here and now.

An awareness of my being, my breath and my body is what I am learning now. I am proud that I am learning this. I feel that I am learning slowly to be able to connect with what is happening around and within me and learning to deal with the hear and now - not the past, not what might happen but what is happening now. We only have this one breath in this one moment - not our last and not our next...it is this one and we mustnt lose focus on that.

So much for regular blogging!
Promise I will return. Sitting in the dentist waiting on my daughter listening to Amy Winehouse.
So what has life had going for it over last few months....
Well guess what I am still skint...
I still have my 2 crazy kids with me and I still love them beyond belief
Went to visit my cousin in London and discovered Camden Town...felt I found somewhere close to me!
Spent the day in Brighton..first time I had ever been...wow what a vibrant crazy place to be. I want to go back and take my daughter with me!
Still single..still wondering if I will ever be in a relationship and still wondering if I actually care lol!
Volunteered at Bloody Scotland last month..heaven...a weekend full of crime and authors..what more could I ask for!
Sadly Scotland didnt get independence but my country has woken up and roared..Westminster better believe our dream is not over nor will it ever die! So good to see so many engaging in politics at so many levels...I love the passion of the people of my country.
Right time to go...drop daughter at work then head off to mine! Next blog will be better!

moving forward

Well I went back and clearly I didn't like it - so here I am on my own again - do I care - am I sad - not one little bit!
Still skint, still living in the house that Jack built but you know what I'm happy in my own skin so be it!
Determined to blog on a regular basis

Want to blog with some likeminded folk - so what is like minded:

Are you obsessed with crime writing/authors?
Do you get a buzz out of tweeting/facebooking with authors?
Are you in love with/do you understand Dexter - no he is not just a cop who is a serial killer!?
Are you intolerant, grumpy, cynical, questioning but fiercely loyal and caring to those who deserve it?
Are you non judgemental?
What's important to you?

maybe just maybe we will get along!